Episode 1: Dads, Divorce, Diversity, and Being Judged
We talk about how Dads need to nurture, the challenges of divorce, how often we can be judged, the struggle of being “different” and the legacy for black children of the dangers of being “visible” in the US. Some of the unique challenges of raising a special needs child are talked about as well as ways to support each other as parents. We all share the vulnerability of looking like you don’t have it “all together”.
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Episode 2: When Our Kids Trigger Us
It’s challenging when our kids trigger us since we are all connected and our parts will impact the parts of those around us. When we are able to notice the trigger and come back to our own Self energy our kids can relax. If we pay attention our kids can teach us about when we are hijacked. We talk about modelling, toxic masculinity, reflecting back our children’s feelings in an attuned way and setting the norm for talking about parts.
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Episode 3: Building Trust With Our Kids
We need to start from the understanding that “There’s nothing wrong with any of us”; including our kids. We discuss what it means to be attuned, how our love for our children can include checking out what’s going on inside. We see behaviour as communication; so “misbehaviour” is “misunderstood behaviour. We look at how when a child’s needs are not met they can take on “I don’t matter” and the challenge of not taking our kids personally.
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Episode 4: Rupture & Repair: Building Resilient Relationships
How can we find our way back to the loving relationship after a disconnect (when a protective part has taken the lead)? How can that benefit our co-parenting relationship? We talk about the importance of owning parts we don’t like and talk about how when we are able to witness our internal world we are better able to be present to our children's’ parts. We acknowledge how developing relationships with our parts is a process.
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Episode 5: The Need to Control: Avoiding Our Powerlessness
The first relationship, that of a child with a parent will set up the expectation for future relationships and what becomes “acceptable”. We discuss the importance of 2-way respect and how when we feel powerless as parents our protective parts can create what we seek to avoid: over controlling our kids and exiling some of their parts.
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Episode 6: It's Okay to Need Help
In our last conversation we talk about the importance of doing our own work; i.e. attending to our inner world so that don’t keep repeating patterns that do not help. Beating ourselves up does not help; and recognising that a feeling of guilt is trying to tell us something is important. New mums in particular need two layers of support: a partner (if there is one) and an extended community offering social support. We can all choose to be part of that community.
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